Mental illness is, unfortunately, a common problem. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. - 43.8 million, or 18.5% - experiences mental illness in a given year, and in the UK approximately 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem each year. That means there’s a very good chance you will know someone who has, or is, suffering from a mental health problem. But unlike illnesses or injuries that are very visible or more fully understood - a broken limb, cancer - mental health is often overlooked.
We very quickly send get well cards, flowers and gifts to those with more ‘normal’ illnesses. A friend who is dealing with depression or severe anxiety, for example, is not seen in the same way. But they should be! Why shouldn’t you send a get well card to someone with something like bipolar who is going through a rough spell? Or a colleague who is off work with a severe bout of depression? We all want to feel like people are thinking of us and are their if we needed them. That’s no different be it we’ve caught the flu or have a mental health problem. Even an email or text message can be a real boost to someone feeling alone, scared and miserable with their illness.
It can, however, be difficult knowing what to say to someone who is suffering with something like depression or anxiety. A physical injury like a broken leg doesn’t require much thought. A quick message that wishes them a speedy recovery, or maybe something humorous that pokes fun at their affliction is good enough. But you don’t recover quickly from a mental health problem. It’s about coping and learning to manage your specific issues as best as you can. So understandably writing a get well message for something so complex can be tricky. There’s also the fear of saying the wrong thing and causing offence. Will what I write sound patronising? Will I use the wrong terms and phrases? Can I send or joke or try to make them laugh? Is it something they prefer to keep private and deal with in their own? The last thing people want to do is make someone already ill feel even worse!
That’s why we’ve tried to offer some me help with this guide. If you’re struggling with what to write or aren’t sure what might be offensive then hopefully following some of the tips and ideas here will enable you to write touching, supportive and well received words that offer comfort to someone suffering with their mental health.
And if you’re wondering about how much difference a get well card can really make, read this from Mia. Even the smallest gesture can have a dramatic impact on a persons life. So get writing!
What to Write or Say
Be positive - the idea behind your card/email/text message is to let them know they're in your thoughts. So keep things positive and don't dwell on the negative aspects of their health. Emphasise how they aren't alone, they're friends and family are here for them and you hope they begin to feel better soon.
Offer Support - a message letting them know you're thinking of them is great. But try to go one step further and be there for them in person. A simple invite to meet for a cup of coffee at some point, maybe to have a chat, will be warmly received.
Use positive quotes about life’s struggles - encouragement and inspiration should not be overlooked. A quote that reflects the struggles they might be going through but offers hope and light at the end of the tunnel can be really uplifting.
Make them laugh - you have to be absolutely sure the recipient will appreciate a funny message or card, but if so then it can be a great way to break the ice or chew them up. Something like a silly card or stupid pun, or an in-joke if you're really close. Anything that might put a smile on their face and help alleviate the negative thoughts, even for a short time.
What Not to Say or Write
It may seem counterintuitive but you should probably avoid a phrase like 'get well soon'. Why? The soon aspect implies it will be over quickly, whereas the reality is mental health problems rarely disappear in a short space of time. The recipient may also feel the message is putting them under pressure to get better. Like it's something they must do; a command.
This may seem over the top or excessively sensitive to you but to those suffering with depressive and intrusive thoughts it can easily lead to looking at everything negatively. So a simple message is picked apart and taken in a way it wasn't intended. Wity that in mind it's probably better to use a phrase like "I hope you feel better soon".
Never say anything like "just snap out of it". Mental health problems are extremely serious and cannot just be "snapped out of" or the suffer can just "pull themselves together". If you're going to write them a message then take it seriously and do not downplay the severity of what they're suffering with.
Don't be patronising. Offering advice like "have you tried exercising" or "yoga might help" when you know very little about mental health is likely to be offensive. Just because you've read an article on depression doesn't make you an expert. What they need is support, not to be spoken down to about their problems.
Message Examples
These are a few examples of the sort of messages you could write in a get well card, email or text message to someone with a mental health problem.
Supportive Messages
If you need to talk I'm here for you. I really hope you feel better soon
Thinking of you and sending this to remind you you're not alone
When you're feeling better everything will be waiting for you just as it was. We love you so much
Sending you hugs and happy thoughts for when you're feeling sad
Please don't forget how much I care. Whatever you need, don't hesitate to ask, I'll be there
Inspirational Quotes
Sometimes even to live is an act of courage
It won’t be easy, but it will get better
Recovery is not one and done. It is a lifelong journey that takes place one day, one step at a time
If you stumble, make it part of the dance
Tough times don’t last, tough people do
Funny Messages
Last month you were manic, and now you're depressed. Next month you'll be better, just have a good rest
I hear you've been sectioned - that's really a bore! But soon you'll be out. Just don't scream any more
Next time someone tells you your mental illness is all in your head, tell them "Duh! Where else is it going to be, my kidneys?"
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems!
I just heard the news, it made me so sad. To hear that you'd just become totally mad
Get Well Messages for Depression
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I'm always here by your side though. Hoping you begin to feel like your old self soon.
I can't begin to understand how tough this is for you but I can be by your side for anything you need. I hope you start to feel a bit better.
Sending the biggest hugs as you struggle. Whatever you need don't hesitate to reach out to me.
I know how hard it is when you're sick with something people can't see. Hang in there and look to friends and family for support.
Everyone believes you and knows you're struggling with your depression. We will help you through this and be there every step of the way.
Cards
If you want to send specifically designed cards for mental health (as most get well cards are suited for physical ailments) then there are a few options.
Hope Street Cards produce greeting or get well cards for people experiencing a mental health condition. They do some brilliantly funny cards and one’s that really sum up mental health perfectly.
The Royal College of Psychiatrists also sell a range of ‘Get well soon’ cards designed specifically for people who are unwell with mental health. The cards are designed in collaboration with service users, carers, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals.
And if you’re the creative (or even if you’re not) then you could try making your own card. A personal, handmade card is the sort of thing that could be treasured and a real boost to a friend going through some tough times with their mental health.
Whatever you decide to do though remember that reaching out and showing you’re there for and thinking of anyone who’s struggling with mental health problems will be greatly appreciated.
